learning to leave well enough alone

I was absolutely intent on getting back in the arena with Keil Bay today, and instead of going out to the barn and riding this morning, which is what we'd been doing, I ended up getting caught up in my own silly desire to make everything better.

First, I took my iPad to the barn and after feeding them breakfast I sat with my tea by the arena and checked out the new dressage test app I bought. I hadn't really looked at the new tests and as I was reviewing them I decided that Intro A, B, and C would be really good ways to continue getting both of us back in shape. This is an example of me going over the top with goals - instead of picking one of them and learning it, I figured I could do ALL THREE. Today.

Fine. At that point, I was already in over my head as far as getting things done before actually riding, but it wasn't obvious to me yet. If I was going to be doing the tests, I wanted to put the dressage markers back out in the arena.

Again, fine. Except then I decided before I put the markers in place I would get the leaves up underneath the two oak trees at H and F. There were 4 wheelbarrow loads of leaves so that took a little while.

Then I started obsessing over Keil's wither adjustment. What if my newfound springing into the saddle had put it out of whack to begin with? My practical, sensible daughter said she doubted that was the case, and she's probably right, since I was springing into the saddle from the equivalent of a 3-step mounting block. But in my obsessing I decided to raise the mounting block another entire step, which required moving some cement blocks from the barnyard to the far end of the arena.

About the time I finished all of this I realized I was getting a sore throat. I've held off the mild flu bug everyone else in my family has, but it hit sometime mid-day. But I really really wanted to ride.

This evening I went out and got Keil Bay ready. I realized I was going to have to abandon tests B and C and just ride A. I jotted down the test on a piece of paper so I could check it if needed in the saddle.

Off we went to the mounting block. It was so high I was almost unable to climb up onto it. However, it worked.  The mounting block is so high now there is no hesitation on my part at all - I couldn't wait to get off that block and into the saddle! My sore throat went away and the arena looked nice. The sun was out of the arena for the most part and there were no bugs. Salina and the donkeys came from the front field to the back field to graze alongside the arena and keep us company.

We did a long warm-up and then our usual transition into trotting. Keil went from 0 to 60 in terms of alertness and responsiveness about halfway into the ride, which I wasn't expecting. Instead of enjoying his energy and his movement, I got very caught up in that stupid dressage test and wanting to be able to do it - well, not perfectly, but - better than respectably.

The crazy thing is that I switched gears suddenly.  He revved up energy-wise and I took that right into the test. We were doing our usual routine and then I turned down center line. Keil knows the dressage tests, or at least he did know them until they changed them - so he was trying to do what he thought I was asking him to do, but it wasn't right. Because I was going by my piece of paper.

In hindsight I should have just done the old test at least one time. That would have been a compromise on my part. But.

I got a little agitated. Partly it was me not feeling well, but ignoring that, and part of it was wanting to do a good test. We did it once passably, but there was not much relaxation going on on MY part. Keil was confused at first, then he got annoyed, then he went into high gear.

We went into a second try and about halfway through I realized how ridiculous I was being. We've had a number of days off, a big chiro adjustment for Keil, NO chiro adjustment for me, and I know I need one (it's scheduled, my last one had to be canceled so I'm about 5 weeks now without one), and today I probably had a low grade fever by the time I got in the saddle.

Thankfully I just stopped riding the test, put my cheat sheet away, and finished the ride we should have had from the beginning - a low-key, let's get back to work but from a place of relaxation, this is for FUN kinda ride.

Instead what we got was like using the big Kitchen Aid mixer and accidentally turning it on high without locking it down. Neither of us were quite ready for the energy today but it's good to know it's there when we ARE ready.

Of course, even though I was pushing both of us to do something on a piece of paper, which is actually less than what we have been doing on our own in terms of complexity and actual work, I got agitated in the process and made it much harder. Still, when we finished and I got off, Keil Bay googled his eyes at me, licked and chewed, rubbed his head on my shoulder, and when I put both hands in between the side pieces of his bridle he wiggled his head up and down giving himself a nice scratch.

I thanked him for putting up with my nonsense. He was pretty gracious about it.

And then he sauntered into the barn aisle and stood at the feed room door, waiting patiently for his snack while I untacked him.

After he finished and went out with the herd,  I should have come inside and taken a hot bath. But my crazy obsessive mood today kicked back in and I cleaned my boots, his bridle, and the saddle before coming in! And now my sore throat is back and I have the whole nasal thing kicking in as well.

Possibly this is what I get for going 90 miles an hour into October. When I don't slow myself down, my body does it for me. :)