Tuesday, April 17, 2007

holding it together

Yesterday our four horses had dental exams and flotations, which involves anesthesia and a lot of noise/smell. Think of the dentist drilling away on one small human tooth and then think of a horse's head cranked up on a pulley with a long loud instrument disappearing into his long jaw.

I was absolutely drained by the end of it.

On top of that, Keil Bay had a twig jammed into his neck so deep we couldn't even see where it went in anymore, and this had to be lidocained, incised, and then stapled back together.

There's something about the metal staples in his neck - I feel like I am using my psychic energy to keep them in place, as though any lapse on my part and they will pop out, split open, rip apart.

There are a number of other things, albeit minor, adding to this stress. I realized this morning there are a lot of days between now and May 1st, when his staples come out.

As I often do, I went looking for a quote or passage to bolster my spirit.

Chinese inscription cited by Thoreau in Walden:

Renew thyself completely each day; do it again, and again, and forever again.

This is so simple, but soothing to read. It made me think of a container that constantly releases energy, in a wonderful, present, dynamic way. The key is not to hoard the energy, or stop it up, but to replenish it regularly.

I don't know why this simple concept is so easily forgotten or set aside.

The first thing I'm going to do, right now, is find a new image for those metal staples.

(I was going to post a photo of them, but when it came down to it, I couldn't bring myself to even center them in the viewfinder, much less click the shutter!)


Joni said...

This too shall pass. Don't look too far ahead and step slowly. You'll get to the end of it. And keep cycling that fresh energy in.


I'm sending good vibes too!

billie said...

Just got home from work and it was so nice to read this - thank you!!!

Anonymous said...

I've felt that way about staples in human skin. On some level, it just doesn't seem like they should hold.

There is always a calm place in the most windy weather. Find that place and hum a song. :)

billie said...

Thank you, Jason. If you see today's post, you'll know that I did find a song. :)