Friday, March 30, 2007

vertigo

Yesterday I spent a great deal of energy on the afore-mentioned sequencing issue in the novel in progress. Chart on yellow legal pad, pages all out of order, word file open while cutting and pasting back and forth in the ms.

By late afternoon I was spinning. Literally. I had to cancel clients and lie down. Flat. Perfectly still.

Two different homeopathic remedies helped, but this morning I am still twirling.

Out at the barn feeding horses earlier, Keil Bay was impatient. I had broken the usual routine and set feed up before letting them into stalls to eat. He was agitated, probably because he sensed I was, and in his own rush, shoved past me and stepped on my foot. I nearly fell down because my balance is so shaky.

I immediately burst into tears. I don't like seeing Keil Bay off his pedestal. But the King can get grumpy at times. Yes he can.

By the end of the meal, he came over and apologized. Salina was particularly concerned. She watched, worried, until I went to her stall and let her check me out. At the end of her nuzzling I sighed and then she did. Everyone calmed down then.

My personal philosophy as both a novelist/student of the creative process and a psychotherapist is that the body and the mind and the spirit are an intimate weave. Yesterday I was spinning creatively. Today I am spinning physically.

Sometimes a deep analysis is useful, other times it's simply important to note the connections.

What I note today is how my personal whirling dervish day is already setting other little tornadoes into motion. And how two deeply-breathed sighs had the power to restore some balance.

2 comments:

jason evans said...

The whirling is probably because you got too close and were swept away. Glad to know the deep breaths are setting things right again and that the horses are helping you.

billie said...

Thanks, Jason - I suspect deep breathing helps with many things. :)