Keil Bay had a flare-up of EPM this past week and was on treatment for it since Friday. His right hind fetlock was puffy and we think he may have had an abscess brewing. He had his favorite body work, chiropractic care, on Saturday that helped and then acupuncture and a Legend injection yesterday, and his day was good as was his day today. Although not moving normally, he foraged for grass, hay, and acorns with his herd.
Tonight when we went out to feed dinner tubs he was lying flat out in the grassy barnyard, very still and peaceful. He got up about 15 minutes later and was calm but not really able to walk forward. When he tried to walk he was only able to go in a circle.
He had most of his dinner tub, many peppermints, and his vet arrived 45 minutes after that. He was surrounded by me, my husband, and both my young adult children, who grew up knowing the Big Bay and loving him.
Moments after he took his last breath, the barn lights went out for a few seconds and the big bang of a transformer blowing in the distance sounded. Later, after the vet left and we were still with him, as he lay with a peaceful eye and covered in flowers my husband picked from our beds and his blankets, an owl hooted from the big oak tree at F, five separate times.
The stars were bright in the sky.
I know it was the right time and I feel grateful nothing that could have gone terribly wrong did. I’m going to be crying for months I’m sure, off and on, as we all try to reconfigure. Cody, Little Man, Rafer Johnson, and Redford stood silently watching as all this happened, and after he was gone they whinnied and brayed. It’s hard to say goodbye to a horse who was so good and so present in our daily lives.
We love you, Big Handsome Bay. You’ve been my dream. We’re grateful you lived 34 amazing years. I wish I’d been with you every one of them.
6 comments:
As I read this, tears came to my eyes. I'm sure it's hard for some to understand how you can love a horse you've never met but I did love the Big Bay. He was a special horse who touched many lives near and far. He had a wonderful life full of love and caring and wonderful family surrounding him, both human and non-human. He was a horse who had a big impact on everyone around him. We will all miss him. I'm happy he had a peaceful end to his long life. He will always be with you in your hearts and his spirit will walk beside you always.
Where to Bury a Horse
If you bury him in this spot,
this secret place you already have,
he will be there with you when you need him,
when only he can fill the emptiness of his leaving.
And he will come, as he always has,
from the far, dim, clouded pastures of death,
to console, to heal, and once again,
give you the blood of royalty only found upon his back.
The horses you now ride through life,
shall not shy from him, nor resent him coming.
They understand it is his rightful place as you and he were one,
in a far away place, long, long ago.
Show pity to those who scoff,
who see no blade of grass bent by his hooves,
who hear no nicker pitched too fine for the deafened ears of ego.
For they will never know the fulfillment of loving a horse,
and having that love returned.
So bury him deep, and keep that part,
Forever sacred, within your heart.
~author unknown~
The Fly-away Horse
Eugene Field
OH, a wonderful horse is the Fly-Away Horse--
Perhaps you have seen him before;
Perhaps, while you slept, his shadow has swept
Through the moonlight that floats on the floor.
For it's only at night, when the stars twinkle bright,
That the Fly-Away Horse, with a neigh
And a pull at his rein and a toss of his mane,
Is up on his heels and away!
The moon in the sky,
As he gallopeth by,
Cries: "Oh! What a marvelous sight!"
And the Stars in dismay
Hide their faces away
In the lap of old Grandmother Night.
Thank you so much, C.
Thanks, Matthew. He was the King for sure. Such a regal and fun and amazing force in our lives.
I am heartbroken for all of you, but happy that his passing was peaceful and that there was no doubt that he was ready to move on.
Thank you, Kathleen. We’re all a little bit beside ourselves with how this feels, the space he took up here, his spirit which was so vibrant and strong. There was a photo I loved that was published in a magazine years ago, of a single shoe on a hardwood floor in a sunbeam falling across the floor, and the caption was “I cannot and will not believe she is gone. She is just away.” That’s sort of how it feels right now. He’s just away, to return at any moment.
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