Tuesday, July 17, 2007

striking balance

I'm starting to become much more aware of a somewhat delicate balance that exists between mood, creativity, and for lack of a more precise word, physical zen.

This past weekend my daughter and I were in charge of all the farm chores. By the time we did all the things that needed doing each day, we were in no mood to ride. I had come home from writing group on Thursday with a mission, and it was quiet here and very easy to sit in my garret after doing the chores and dive deep into the first 62 pages of the book. Everything was flowing.

By Sunday evening I'd reached a stopping point with the writing. I needed to back up the new document on my external hard drive, needed to print out the newly revised pages so I could read them on paper instead of the screen, and our house regained its male contingent and the noise level went up.

Monday I had a meltdown. It felt like something was out of balance. My initial reaction was to skip my riding lesson (after a near two-week break, partly due to trainer being out of town, partly due to the heat, partly due to Keil Bay's chiro work). But on a deeper level I knew I really needed to ride. Immediately when I got in the saddle I felt better. The lesson was not pretty but it was good. Keil's hip is moving correctly again and everything clicked. I got off feeling like I'd had an emotional tune-up.

Later in the evening though, I had a second meltdown, but it felt more like getting rid of the dregs at the bottom of the barrel than anything else. And it was true, I slept lightly and well instead of the heavy, dream-riddled sleep I'd been having.

And woke up ready to ride again, and did. Today's ride was sharp with crisp, clean transitions between gaits and some floating moments over trot poles. It did indeed feel like with Keil Bay, as well as inside, I was back in balance.

I'm curious about this, as there seems to be such a connection between mood and writing and riding for me. When I write I tend to get lost in the story. When I ride I get lost in my body and the connection to Keil Bay. Both are immensely pleasurable, but I absolutely need both to create the balance that results in a stable, peaceful mood.

If you've noticed similar balance issues in your own life, I would love to hear about them.

2 comments:

jason evans said...

For me, long commutes, competing interests, and parenting forms a downward slope that I'm always fighting not to slide down. For my wife, the pressures of being a stay at home mom and a homemaker does the same thing. We count the small victories. The small victories are important.

billie said...

Oh, absolutely counting the small victories.

What I really want to master is creating the zen balance between body creativity and mind creativity - and more than that, in all the different "zones" of my daily life.

Today it feels almost like a potion that needs the exact amount of each ingredient.

But after reading the last two Harry Potters, seeing the new Harry Potter movie last night, and heading out w/ my daughter to the Harry Potter book release party tonight, I may just have potions and magic and such on the brain!