explosions in the mind

After working on novel pages this morning, I went out to the barn and fed breakfast. Keil Bay knew it was his day for a ride, so he stayed up at the barn instead of marching back to the field with everyone else.

I groomed him from head to hoof. He needed the full treatment, not because he was dirty, but because he needed attention. I love taking a really long time to get him ready for his ride, when I'm not rushed and he knows there is nothing else in the world I have to do, or would rather be doing.

After we had one minor catastrophe - he came all the way into the tack room with me, and he is a big horse for that very tight space - we had our ride. Very pleasant. Little things led to some good moments. I had no real agenda, but one formed on its own and we both followed it.

After, he still didn't go back out to the field, but tried to come in the tack room again and scared me to death. I was absorbed in cleaning my saddle, and suddenly he was there. I sensed something and when I turned his eyes were looking into mine. I screamed. He leaped straight back and fortunately went right through the door as he leaped.

Stood there looking at me like I had gone crazy. I was so deep in cleaning the saddle, his presence was its own little explosion. He came right back into the edge of the doorway to get pats and would have marched on in again had I not said no.

All this led up to me being really ready to go back to novel pages when I came inside. I was thinking about how much I love taking time with every little step of grooming and tacking and then warming up and riding. Then untacking and winding down, with Keil Bay hanging out with me as I go. How making time for all those little steps allows for spontaneous good ideas and good moments to bubble up. That almost never happens with a rushed, forced ride.

And the same is true for writing. I enjoy the process and have come to trust the little steps along the way. I know that some parts of the process are not as exciting but staying engaged and finding the good in each step allows for the bursts of creativity, the magic moments.

Sitting here thinking about that, I picked up Ellen Gilchrist's Falling Through Space and opened to this:

"A piece of writing is the product of a series of explosions in the mind. It is not the first burst of excitement and its aftermath. It is helpful to me to pretend that writing is like building a house. I like to go out and watch real building projects and study the faces of the carpenters and masons as they add board after board and brick after brick. It reminds me of how hard it is to do anything really worth doing."

My writing is often illuminated by how I approach a good ride on my amazing horse. I love how each thing seems to weave in with the other.

the delicious part of novel writing

Toni Morrison said about writing a novel that "The best part of all, the absolutely delicious part, is finishing it and then doing it over again."

In the midst of all the horse and donkey activity here, I quietly slid back into the deep end of my second novel edit and have been moving through it page by page every morning and often again later in the day. It feels very much like a satisfying swim, a dip into a deep pool in midsummer, and it does indeed feel delicious.

I decided, without thinking about it consciously, to shift the entire novel (not just one character's POV sections) into third person past, which was a surprise but feels right as I do it. Meanwhile, two major re-sequencing ideas came to me, and I've made notes so that when I get to those places I can fix them. It's always interesting how the busiest most hectic times in my life often yield the good writing stuff. It just leaks out without much effort.

Eudora Welty wrote, "It's strange how in revision you find some little unconsidered thing which is so essential that you not only keep it in but give it preeminence when you revise. Sometimes in the the dead of night, it will come to me. 'Well, that's what I should do, that's what I'm working toward!' It was there all the time."

This is my favorite part of editing, finding those gems that were there all the time, and uncovering them layer by layer. I have spent a fair amount of time driving myself toward publication, and I have learned but sometimes forget that putting the delicious part back front and center is critical in this novel writing work.

A week and a half ago I unplugged myself from Publishers Marketplace and have immersed myself in reading good novels, taking care of the horses, and sliding deep into the deliciousness of just being with my pages every day.

I'm having a few writers over for an upcoming weekend retreat here later this month, and planning a trip to Weymouth in midsummer. The prospect of spending big chunks of time with my characters (surrounded by the energy and good company of other writers) is making me very very happy.

more massage in the barn

Salina and I got more hot stone massage today and it was blissful. Salina went first and was so much calmer than last Friday. She leaned into the stones and looked worried each time our massage therapist walked into the barn aisle to get more - as if to say "is she coming back? I'm not done!"

Rafer Johnson stood by and kept things in check.

My massage was again wonderful and I'm trying to figure out how I can justify getting H. back here before her scheduled date of June 9th... maybe at the writing retreat I'm having here the end of May??

:)

More interesting mirroring: Salina and I both had tightness in the left hip and the right "trunk" area. The left hip seems to be where she carried a lot of weight during the abscess and my right trunk is where the most hideous bruise is. So we've shared the residual effects of "trauma Friday."

Fortunately we're now both feeling pretty good. I continue to believe that our insurance companies and/or employers should offer regular massage at fully reimbursed cost. The health benefits, including physical, mental, and spiritual, would be tremendous.

lovely mother's day

Purple and white petunias planted in my front porch hanging baskets, an Amazon gift card, the new Ellen Gilchrist novel, and this wonderful hand-drawn card from the daughter.





Hope all the mothers out there have a lovely day as well.

turning the corner back to normal

Yesterday's riding lessons seemed to be the pivoting point for getting back to normal here on November Hill. A week earlier, at one p.m., the vet drove up to do Rafer's gelding and check Salina's lameness. Yesterday, our trainer drove up, and as my daughter rode in the first lesson, I cleaned Keil Bay's bridle, watched Salina and Rafer Johnson graze peacefully, and smiled when Keil Bay marched himself in from the field to let me know he was ready for his turn to ride.

As predicted, climbing into the saddle was indeed a relief and a tonic. My body was stiff though, and we had to work our way through that to get back to relaxation and rhythm. We were both rusty but Marlis helped us get back on track.

Sue arrived for her lesson on Cody, and I hosed Keil Bay down and let him have Salina and Rafer's paddock, since they were in the barnyard. He thought this was a tremendous treat, and Salina enjoyed having him right next door to where she was.

When I got back to the arena to watch Sue and Cody, I was relaxed and content and tired. And then very excited to see Cody in action from the ground. He is looking so good these days, engaging his back and hindquarters, and it occurred to me yesterday that suddenly he seems to have grown into his body and claimed it. He has some Thoroughbred in him and it really showed yesterday. He seemed happy and willing and the late afternoon sun was brilliant on his glossy coat. I couldn't be more pleased with how he's developing.

when everyone left, I had horses everywhere: Keil Bay was in Salina's paddock, Cody was in the barnyard, Rafer Johnson and Salina had been moved to the main paddock, and Apache was in the back field.

I decided to open the gate into the front field for Salina and Rafer, to see if she would walk down the hill. She did, and not following Rafer, who stayed up top. She looked very much her normal self, and as if to further prove the point, she laid down and rolled, and got up with no problem.

What a difference a week can make! We're nearly done with the applesauce antibiotic course and when we give that final dose, daily care will be truly back to normal.

I sat in the barnyard for a few minutes just to let it all soak in. Such a good, solid day.