hodge-podge of a week here on November Hill

I kept thinking things would settle down and I could write a focused blog post, but each time one thing resolved, a new one popped up to grab my attention and my energy.

It's been a busy month on November Hill.

I'm not sure I've mentioned here that we have been doing research on family milk cows. I'm following the writings and research of Weston A. Price these days. I cut all processed sugar and white flour from my diet and have been pleased with the results. The first week was hard. I started craving desserts like crazy, and it can be challenging to use anything that isn't made from scratch. The evil "high fructose corn syrup" seems to be in everything!

It's gotten easier. I've made my own salad dressings as well as mayo, and we've been enjoying lots of good locally grown/raised fruits, veggies, meats, eggs, and cheeses.

The one thing we haven't been able to get locally is raw milk. Thus the family milk cow research.

As things seem to happen, when I start thinking about something, it tends to present itself. Outside my daughter's art class I met a mom and dairy farmer who just happened to have a Dexter cow in milk. Her name is Raspberry. She sounded perfect for us, and we were readying to go learn to milk, taste her milk, and then assuming all went well, to bring her to November Hill.

About that time the dominoes started toppling. Salina had been acting a bit iffy with one hind hoof. I wasn't sure if she'd pulled something, if another abscess might be brewing (she's only ever had one in a hind hoof), or if other things were going on with her.

Muffine Eloise, the princess puff feline, has had a rough summer with flea allergies and suddenly I noticed she was in the litter box a LOT. It's been many years since I had a cat with urinary issues, so I needed to research that issue anew.

Salina went pretty much 3-legged lame.

On Thursday I became convinced that it was time to think about helping her go. As is my usual routine, I asked her about it. She pinned her ears at me! I couldn't stand seeing her so lethargic and clearly not wanting to move. We'd done one round of abscess treatment. It hadn't worked.

We did round two. Husband felt strongly it was an abscess.

Meanwhile I had Muffine Eloise and in fact all five felines on a new food routine that gives them two half-hour eating times a day. They are used to free choice and I don't know if you've ever lived with five cats all wanting food at one time, but whoa! They all seemed to be starving. Both teens expressed concerns that the cats might actually leave home. I had an image of five felines with little suitcases marching up our lane.

Yesterday morning I woke up stiff and sore. I haven't felt that way in over a month, thanks to the new "diet" and the fermented cod liver oil and high vitamin butter I'm taking. I've also been doing lots of stretching in bed before I get up in the mornings.

Yesterday, I decided to do some EFT tapping. I tapped and tapped, thinking of muscles releasing tension and soreness. My mind was also on Salina, and what might be waiting at the barn. I had given myself a window. If she weren't better by Monday, we would need to resume the conversation about what to do next for her.

Husband went out to give morning hay and I got up. I looked out the kitchen window and saw him leading Salina around the arena. She was doing a big, bold, incredible walk. I went out on the back deck and called to them. The abscess had burst.

Muffine Eloise is 100% better. A homeopathic remedy and changing from free choice dry food to two feeds a day have relieved her issue.

It seemed clear to me this past week that taking on a milk cow, as much as I want to do it, is not in the cards right now. So that plan is on the back burner. But we have a mare who is walking again, a cat who is only using the litter box the normal number of times a day, and we have trees beginning to change color for fall.

(We also have black ants coming inside and fire ant mounds rising from the earth but you know, if there has to be something to manage, I'll take that over urinary issues and abscesses!)

the wisdom of donkeys

Yesterday afternoon I had a wheelbarrow of hay sitting in the barn aisle. Salina set herself up to eat straight from the barrow, one of her favorite ways to eat hay. She was soon joined by the handsome Rafer Johnson.

For those that don't know, Salina has one eye, the one on her left. Rafer was eating on that side. Salina was a big grumpy because she has another abscess (big sigh) brewing and she uncharacteristically sniped at Rafer when he reached in to take a bite of hay.

Rafer stood there for a moment and respected her limit. Then very slowly, he walked around her to the other side, her blind side, and began to eat the small pile of hay she had dropped. Every time she took a big mouthful from the barrow, she tossed more right in Rafer's reach.

I had to smile. There was no drama and he got exactly what he wanted.

300 donkeys in Texas need your help!

GO HERE for more information and a link to sign the petition.

Rafer Johnson and Redford hope you'll take the time to click, read, and sign.

the swimming pool dreams

Time for one of my infrequent dream blog posts!

Many years ago when I was nearing the end of a very intensive psychotherapy, I had a dream that I was in a swimming pool trying to swim. I couldn't do it. I kept going under. The emotional aura of the dream was vivid and real - I was truly in that pool, submerged in water that was deep and scary, and at some point I grabbed the side of the pool and refused to let go.

My therapist was also in the dream. He was sitting on the edge of the pool, talking to me about letting go, and that one could not swim without turning loose of that rounded, concrete edge, which was my safety net. I was gripping it with both hands.

I kept describing how I would go under if I turned loose. He got in the pool and showed me that he could stay afloat without holding on. He could dog paddle in place, or he could swim around to different parts of the pool. He pointed out that there was no way to learn to swim at all while holding on. That in order to swim, you had to let go. And in order to let go you had to trust.

Eventually I worked my way to revealing that I did not trust him to help me if I went under. I didn't trust myself to do what I needed to do to stay afloat.

The dream seemed timeless. We went on and on with this discussion. Finally, he convinced me he was trustworthy and that he believed I could do what I needed to if I would "let go."

The dream ended when I did let go, and he held me up for a moment as I found my arms and legs and began to swim.

It was an incredibly healing dream that represented in just one night's dream time what I had struggled with for several years. It was a turning point in my life, and was part of what pushed me to want to go to graduate school and become a therapist myself.

Over the years since that time I've had more swimming pool dreams. They always involve my unconscious processing something that relates to my psychological growth.

A few weeks ago I had a swimming pool dream that involved a trauma that happened a long, long time ago. It's been "resolved" in my mind for many years, but in this recent dream, a sort of final resolution happened - in a swimming pool.

Last night I had yet another swimming pool dream. In this one I was taking care of a little girl. She knew how to swim, and was bold and brave, but she still needed supervision in deep water. We were in a huge expanse of water that had been corralled in from a river, into a huge "swimming pool." The water was not clear - it was clean, but it was dark.

There were lanes, and there was a large open area. We chose to stay in the open area, outside the lanes where other adults were swimming vigorously back and forth.

The little girl immediately swam out in a straight line toward the middle of the water. I was behind her, swimming along but not helping - just being there in case she needed me.

At some point in the dream I wondered what would happen if I got tired, or had a muscle cramp. I started worrying about my ability to keep up with her. We got out of the pool and I went and got a pure white, very elegant and minimalist "skiff" - it was long like a kayak but it was nearly flat with a small curve - almost ethereal in substance. It floated/glimmered along beside us as we headed back to the water, and was there beside us as we swam again, just in case we needed it.

Later in the dream, I worried about one of us getting sick. As we swam back toward the edge, a priest walked up and offered me a microscope slide. It was square, and larger than the usual ones. He had prepared a purple flower on the slide, and said it would heal us if we ever needed it, and that if I wanted to study it more, I could use a microscope to see the smaller details.

I took the slide and put it somewhere safe for later, and we went back to swimming.

It seems fairly obvious that the little girl is me, and the woman is me, and I am processing the middle stage of life, looking back, looking forward, and finding resources for my Self. I love that the priest was benign in the dream - not affiliated with any one religion, not omnipresent. He came only when needed with a remedy, but also gave me the instructions to do my own further study.

It's difficult to describe the emotional ambiance of dreams in words, but this one was soft, and vivid, and very satisfying.  The water was big and deep, fed by a rushing river, so it had the energy of the natural world but the relative safety of being stilled by the structure of the "pool."

There were other swimmers there, presumably processing their own life stages. In a way it was like being literally in the midst of the collective unconscious!

I confess I am fascinated by these watery dreams. If I had more hours in the day, and lived simultaneously in another dimension, I'd want to do research to study the kinds of dreams people have and how they process similar life events and stages.

for Sheaffer, Molly, Chester, and BUDDY!