just another day on the hill

After several years of seeing 3 crows everywhere I go, there has been a shift. For almost two weeks now, I'm seeing 1 crow instead. The crows have always represented my books - when the 3 first appeared, it was when I had suddenly gone from one novel to three. I suspect this shift to 1 has something to do with my intention to focus on the second one until I get it out there. It certainly gave me pause and a very potent reminder when I looked out the window and there was ONE.



Today was a Cody ride, and what a pleasure it was. Sunshine, a cool breeze, and a willing, soft horse. He was quite happy to hang out at the barn after breakfast to get some hay and a good grooming before we tacked up. Keil Bay stood in his stall and reached his muzzle out to me every time I walked by getting Cody ready. He wanted his own ride, but he got a grooming and his own hay, so he was happy.

Even Apollo Moon came to the barnyard to hang out, which is a rare occasion. Dickens (who I today started calling Whickens for no good reason except it was fun to say) was NOT quite sure he liked having his territory encroached upon. Nothing dramatic happened, just this bit of posturing and then the daughter sent them off to sulk at being thwarted in their masculine display.



Cody and the pony went out front, but Keil Bay seemed offended that he wasn't being ridden nor was he being given a special barnyard privilege. So of course I gave in and let him come in with Salina and Rafer Johnson. Rafer was working hard at remembering the good things that come with halters. Butterscotch! You can see how awfully hard he worked.



It's hard to believe he is heading quickly to being a one-year old donkey. Quite the handsome young gentleman.



After awhile of hanging out and watching these three, a storm blew up, quite suddenly. The wind whipped and roared a bit, the sky was that scary greenish-grey, and I opened Salina and Rafer's stall door and said "go." Salina went. My daughter got Rafer's halter off and he went in too. Keil Bay came in the barn aisle and when I took his head and attempted to guide him into his stall, he raised his head and stopped. Will I never learn? I opened the stall door and pointed. "Go on in." And so he did.

We got hay doled out, the other two in, and left everyone munching calmly while the rain started to fall.

waiting on rain and musical stalls

It rained early this morning, but then cleared out, so after breakfast I kept Cody in for his ride. It became obvious when I groomed him that he needed a bath more than a ride, so I got the shampoo in the wash bucket and let him graze while I soaped him up. I spent an hour or so soaping and rinsing and checking for ticks. I always clean the brushes when I give a bath, so I got sidetracked doing that while Cody dried and munched on hay in the barnyard.

Meanwhile, no rain. Keil Bay got wind that I was hanging out in the barn doling out attention (not to mention hay), so he came back in from the field and got a flake for himself.

Salina and Rafer Johnson soon followed. More hay.

Then Apache Moon came running too. Everyone wanted to hang out at the barn.

My daughter and I mucked all the stalls and paddocks and decided to switch things around today. We let Salina have the main paddock and access to stalls along with Rafer Johnson and Keil Bay, and put the pony in the barnyard with Cody where they had access to the barnyard, barn aisle, and Salina and Rafer's stall/paddock.

I like to mix things up once in a while, so that no one gets too dependent on a certain way of being turned out or stalled. Periodically I separate everyone into different spaces for a few hours, just so they don't forget how to be apart.

They seem to do well with this musical stall game - in fact, they rearrange themselves if left to their own devices out there.

I've been writing and doing laundry and making lunches most of the afternoon - now it's time to go see if I can squeeze in a Cody ride before the rain hits. If it hits - it's cloudy but thus far no wet stuff.

And we're getting in a load of hay today, so it will be nice if the rain holds off until it's in the barn.

explosions in the mind

After working on novel pages this morning, I went out to the barn and fed breakfast. Keil Bay knew it was his day for a ride, so he stayed up at the barn instead of marching back to the field with everyone else.

I groomed him from head to hoof. He needed the full treatment, not because he was dirty, but because he needed attention. I love taking a really long time to get him ready for his ride, when I'm not rushed and he knows there is nothing else in the world I have to do, or would rather be doing.

After we had one minor catastrophe - he came all the way into the tack room with me, and he is a big horse for that very tight space - we had our ride. Very pleasant. Little things led to some good moments. I had no real agenda, but one formed on its own and we both followed it.

After, he still didn't go back out to the field, but tried to come in the tack room again and scared me to death. I was absorbed in cleaning my saddle, and suddenly he was there. I sensed something and when I turned his eyes were looking into mine. I screamed. He leaped straight back and fortunately went right through the door as he leaped.

Stood there looking at me like I had gone crazy. I was so deep in cleaning the saddle, his presence was its own little explosion. He came right back into the edge of the doorway to get pats and would have marched on in again had I not said no.

All this led up to me being really ready to go back to novel pages when I came inside. I was thinking about how much I love taking time with every little step of grooming and tacking and then warming up and riding. Then untacking and winding down, with Keil Bay hanging out with me as I go. How making time for all those little steps allows for spontaneous good ideas and good moments to bubble up. That almost never happens with a rushed, forced ride.

And the same is true for writing. I enjoy the process and have come to trust the little steps along the way. I know that some parts of the process are not as exciting but staying engaged and finding the good in each step allows for the bursts of creativity, the magic moments.

Sitting here thinking about that, I picked up Ellen Gilchrist's Falling Through Space and opened to this:

"A piece of writing is the product of a series of explosions in the mind. It is not the first burst of excitement and its aftermath. It is helpful to me to pretend that writing is like building a house. I like to go out and watch real building projects and study the faces of the carpenters and masons as they add board after board and brick after brick. It reminds me of how hard it is to do anything really worth doing."

My writing is often illuminated by how I approach a good ride on my amazing horse. I love how each thing seems to weave in with the other.

the delicious part of novel writing

Toni Morrison said about writing a novel that "The best part of all, the absolutely delicious part, is finishing it and then doing it over again."

In the midst of all the horse and donkey activity here, I quietly slid back into the deep end of my second novel edit and have been moving through it page by page every morning and often again later in the day. It feels very much like a satisfying swim, a dip into a deep pool in midsummer, and it does indeed feel delicious.

I decided, without thinking about it consciously, to shift the entire novel (not just one character's POV sections) into third person past, which was a surprise but feels right as I do it. Meanwhile, two major re-sequencing ideas came to me, and I've made notes so that when I get to those places I can fix them. It's always interesting how the busiest most hectic times in my life often yield the good writing stuff. It just leaks out without much effort.

Eudora Welty wrote, "It's strange how in revision you find some little unconsidered thing which is so essential that you not only keep it in but give it preeminence when you revise. Sometimes in the the dead of night, it will come to me. 'Well, that's what I should do, that's what I'm working toward!' It was there all the time."

This is my favorite part of editing, finding those gems that were there all the time, and uncovering them layer by layer. I have spent a fair amount of time driving myself toward publication, and I have learned but sometimes forget that putting the delicious part back front and center is critical in this novel writing work.

A week and a half ago I unplugged myself from Publishers Marketplace and have immersed myself in reading good novels, taking care of the horses, and sliding deep into the deliciousness of just being with my pages every day.

I'm having a few writers over for an upcoming weekend retreat here later this month, and planning a trip to Weymouth in midsummer. The prospect of spending big chunks of time with my characters (surrounded by the energy and good company of other writers) is making me very very happy.

more massage in the barn

Salina and I got more hot stone massage today and it was blissful. Salina went first and was so much calmer than last Friday. She leaned into the stones and looked worried each time our massage therapist walked into the barn aisle to get more - as if to say "is she coming back? I'm not done!"

Rafer Johnson stood by and kept things in check.

My massage was again wonderful and I'm trying to figure out how I can justify getting H. back here before her scheduled date of June 9th... maybe at the writing retreat I'm having here the end of May??

:)

More interesting mirroring: Salina and I both had tightness in the left hip and the right "trunk" area. The left hip seems to be where she carried a lot of weight during the abscess and my right trunk is where the most hideous bruise is. So we've shared the residual effects of "trauma Friday."

Fortunately we're now both feeling pretty good. I continue to believe that our insurance companies and/or employers should offer regular massage at fully reimbursed cost. The health benefits, including physical, mental, and spiritual, would be tremendous.