Launch day! Susan Henderson's Up From the Blue

Susan Henderson's debut novel is on sale as of today, and I hope you'll buy it and support a truly generous author who also happens to write beautifully (as noted by the MANY glowing reviews below).  It's what I'll be reading as soon as I can get my hands on it.

Set in 1975 against the backdrop of school busing, desegregation, and early feminism, Up from the Blue follows the story of an imaginative young girl, Tillie Harris, as she struggles to make sense of her mother’s mysterious disappearance and her rapidly deteriorating home life.

Praise for Up from the Blue:

[An] elegant debut… Henderson’s fascinating novel fearlessly examines the complexities of depression, romantic and filial love, and motherhood. Beautiful, funny, sad, and complicated…. —Publishers Weekly, starred review

Rapturous prose…. A triumphant debut. —Library Journal

Henderson shows remarkable compassion in her debut novel… —BookList

Susan Henderson’s UP FROM THE BLUE deftly portrays a family with contradictions we can all relate to—it’s beautiful and maddening, hopeful and condemning, simple, yet like a knot that takes a lifetime to untangle. This is a book that you will love completely, even as it hurts you. It is a heartbreaking, rewarding story that still haunts me. I absolutely loved this book…gushingly, unequivocally, loved it. —Jamie Ford, New York Times bestselling author of HOTEL ON THE CORNER OF BITTER AND SWEET [Read what Jamie had to say about UP FROM THE BLUE on his blog.]

Susan Henderson masterfully weaves a story where family can both indelibly wound, and yet also redeem. Heartbreaking, compelling—ultimately beautiful. —Samantha Dunn, author of FAITH IN CARLOS GOMEZ

Brilliant! UP FROM THE BLUE felt like a gorgeous gift to my heart. Susan Henderson has a genius for exposing the exquisite flaws and beautiful frailties of her characters with such tenderness the reader can’t help but be uplifted. Yes, it’s that sublime. I fell in love with Tillie, I fell in love with this book. You will, too. —Ellen Meister, author of THE OTHER LIFE and THE SMART ONE

In UP FROM THE BLUE Susan Henderson delivers a compelling, deeply felt tale about the complexities of family life. You’ll fall in love with young Tillie Harris, whose attempts to navigate her parents’ unruly world are portrayed with genuine warmth and tenderness. —Michelle Richmond, New York Times bestselling author of THE YEAR OF FOG

A haunting tale of the terrible ways in which we fail each other; of the whys, the what ifs, and the what nows. This is not a book you’ll soon forget. —Sara Gruen, New York Times bestselling author of WATER FOR ELEPHANTS

Through her gorgeous, perceptive debut, Susan Henderson reveals the truth–a family’s effort to hide its secrets and shame will break a child’s heart. UP FROM THE BLUE is an unflinching, emotionally honest novel, one of the most insightful stories I’ve ever read. —Ronlyn Domingue, author of THE MERCY OF THIN AIR

A remarkable debut, not just for the uncanny accuracy and charm of eight-year-old Tillie’s narrative voice, but for the way the characters reveal unexpected angles of themselves that make them somehow realer than real. UP FROM THE BLUE lingers in the mind. Susan Henderson shows herself to be a writer of great skill and subtlety. —Mark Childress, author of CRAZY IN ALABAMA and ONE MISSISSIPPI

UP FROM THE BLUE is a beautiful, haunting, spirited debut, charged with secrets and deep longing. Susan Henderson has written a moving love story, a portrait of that deep lasting love between mother and daughter. —Julianna Baggott, author of THE MADAM and WHICH BRINGS ME TO YOU

UP FROM THE BLUE is a heart-wrenching, tender story with a mystery that kept my pulse racing. What a joy to discover Tillie Harris, the most memorable, charming and plucky narrator in fiction since Scout Finch. —Jessica Anya Blau, author of Today Show pick, THE SUMMER OF NAKED SWIM PARTIES 

Haunting and unsettling, UP FROM THE BLUE’s real alchemy is the way it uncovers the stories that alternately save us and keep us from our real truths. Incandescently written, this is a stunning debut with heart. —Caroline Leavitt, author of GIRLS IN TROUBLE and PICTURES OF YOU

UP FROM THE BLUE is elegant and engrossing. Like a modern-day Scout, Henderson’s child narrator Tillie Harris is both tender and tough, charming and filled with wonder by the difficulties she must overcome. Henderson is a talent to watch. —Danielle Trussoni, author of ANGELOLOGY and FALLING THROUGH THE EARTH

In this extraordinary first novel, a young girl forced to live within the regimented world of her military father discovers the darkness behind his austere existence. Her secret, nighttime life, spent inside a basement chamber straight out of Jung, conjures the no-man’s-land between madness and sanity. With its authentic and startling imagery, Henderson’s story glimpses the darkness of the heart as well as the rays of light that manage to shine through. —Kim Ponders, author of THE ART OF UNCONTROLLED FLIGHT and THE LAST BLUE MILE

A luminous debut. Henderson explores the emotional tremors of a troubled military family in a story layered with shock, revelation–and hope. —Dylan Landis, author of NORMAL PEOPLE DON’T LIVE LIKE THIS

Susan Henderson makes real the magic and terror of childhood with such vivid uncanny accuracy that I can almost imagine being a child again. She takes readers back into the world of children like no other writer today—without cloying sentimentality, and without the wild hysteria of memoir. Funny, smart, innocent, and wicked, her narrator is one of the most memorable voices to show up in fiction in ages. —Jim Daniels, Pushcart and Brittingham Prize winner, and author of NO PETS, DETROIT TALES, PLACES/EVERYONE, PUNCHING OUT M-80, BLESSING THIS HOUSE, BLUE JESUS, NIGHT WITH DRIVE-BY SHOOTING STARS, LETTERS TO AMERICA: CONTEMPORARY AMERICAN POETRY ON RACE

UP FROM THE BLUE is a bejeweled tale of mother and daughter, longing and understanding, all ripe with the antics of a brilliantly imagined girl named Tillie. Dark and sweet like a wild cherry Lifesaver, Henderson’s prose makes our hearts pucker, while enchanting our minds long after the story is done. —Amy Wallen, Los Angeles Times bestselling author of MOONPIES AND MOVIE STARS

Tillie Harris, Susan Henderson’s courageous young heroine, is vibrant and true. Her voice fills the pages of UP FROM THE BLUE with a bittersweet song of innocence and longing as she navigates her way through her perilous life—a life dominated by her mother’s desperate unhappiness and her father’s frustrations. I wanted to hold Tillie tight then release her with a smile, so I could watch her set the world on fire with her hard-won wisdom and sparkling energy. —Laura Benedict, author of ISABELLA MOON and CALLING MR. LONELY HEARTS

UP FROM THE BLUE is a rare literary page-turner full of shocking discoveries and twists. Susan Henderson has created a remarkable narrator – as memorable for her feistiness as for her tenderness. UP FROM THE BLUE is going to be one of this year’s major debuts. —Josh Kilmer-Purcell, NY Times bestselling author of I AM NOT MYSELF THESE DAYS and THE BUCOLIC PLAGUE

Here, finally, is a contemporary writer willing to embrace the pathos, the ache, the hunger of human life in fiction that’s luminous and moving and transformative. In the character of Tillie, Susan Henderson pursues the shadows of childhood without allowing herself to be obliterated by the potential, there, for darkness; her fictional creations are beautifully flawed and hence gorgeously human. For me, Susan Henderson is one of the most important writers to come along since Carson McCullers. Like McCullers, she turns her eye upon the sadness, the poignancy, and the grotesqueries of our world, evokes them with a keen and unswerving vision that is tempered only by understanding and love. A remarkable writer…and a brilliant one. —Terri Brown-Davidson, assistant editor at Zoetrope: All-Story and author of MARIE, MARIE, HOLD ON TIGHT

Using perfect prose as a weapon, Sue Henderson’s UP FROM THE BLUE burrows into you, so that if you put the book down, you will soon feel compelled to pick it back up, and when you have read the final word, you realize that you will carry this story with you for the foreseeable future. —John Warner, editor of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

I would love to be able to talk about Susan Henderson’s book, UP FROM THE BLUE, without using the word “awesome.” But the truth is, I can’t do it. I’m in awe of the big-hearted love of a daughter for her mother. I’m in awe of the all-too-human Tillie with her brilliant imperfections, with her truth-telling, with her outrageous simplicity. I’m in awe of the breadth and scope of this book. I’m in awe of how Susan Henderson makes it seem as if there’s nothing small in the world. I know you’ll agree. UP FROM THE BLUE is no less than awesome. —Terry Bain, O. Henry award-winner and author of YOU ARE A DOG: LIFE THROUGH THE EYES OF MAN’S BEST FRIEND

Susan Henderson deftly conjures that surreal kingdom known as childhood, a realm teeming with tactile mysteries, hourly epiphanies and ineffable longing. Tillie is as brave and winning a narrator as we could wish for, caught in a painful intimacy with her disturbed mother, but also embarking on the necessary adventure of defiance. UP FROM THE BLUE is a wonderful book, always evocative and often funny, fashioned with a delicate touch and a riddler’s humor. —M. Allen Cunningham, author of THE GREEN AGE OF ASHER WITHEROW

Susan Henderson writes with the sort of honesty, clarity, and attention to detail that makes you forget for a moment that you are reading fiction or even reading at all. It is a sign of the greatest level of art: to erase the artifice that separates the reader from the experience. The stories in this book do this with admirable skill, creating a world of vivid sadness and beauty. —Grant Bailie, author of CLOUD 8

In luminous, economical prose, Susan Henderson tells the story of Tillie, a lonely child in a family of loners, doing her best to please her high-ranking Pentagon scientist father, her literary, unstable mother and her scornful older brother, all of whom have secrets she wants only to understand. She grows before our eyes in deft, layered chapters that are at once painful and funny. Neglected and demanded too much of, eager to please and rebellious in equal measure, Tillie embodies the very spirit of late twentieth-century America, and we can’t help but love her. Indeed, Henderson’s greatest gift to the reader—and there are many— is the evidence that love, though it surely does not conquer all, makes forgiveness possible and hope inevitable. —Maryanne Stahl, author of FORGIVE THE MOON and THE OPPOSITE SHORE

first real day of autumn!!

Okay, it's tomorrow, but I have another post that needs to go up tomorrow so I'm celebrating the equinox here on camera-obscura today.

We have some color change going on in the landscape, and we have a nice breeze, and we are definitely experiencing an earlier sunset.  I am so ready for this shift. It's my favorite season anyway, but this year I'm especially ready for it.

I went out to ride today and it felt so much like fall I got drawn into a ritual I'd forgotten about - giving Keil Bay his "sport cut." I started out in the stall but didn't latch his stall door, so most of the trimming was done in the grass paddock, where I snipped and let his mane hair fly in the breeze. There's a trail of black mane out there right now - and he looks very young and very sporty.

By the time I groomed, trimmed mane and tail, etc., it was no longer morning! But this is what I love about fall - it was still fine to ride!

Today's ride was a bit different. Keil was still forward but we've settled down a little bit into our routine, so I decided to focus on our "straightness" and making more precise turns. To do this we shifted inward to the quarter line so there was no using the rail as the outside guideline. It took about one full circuit to get it right and then we did more in both directions to practice. I'm still focusing on equally weighting the stirrups, keeping the reins equal and still unless I'm specifically using one as an aid, and releasing my pelvic joints.

Keil responds really well to this, and after we had fully warmed up at the walk, doing some more shoulder-in (which Keil is very good at and which really stretches out his stiff side in a good way) we did some work walking, then almost trotting, then walking. And then did walk/trot/walk transitions around the arena in both directions. This needed almost no work - Keil is being very responsive and other than one downward transition when he kind of took off with me at the trot (at this point in my riding life I'd much rather have this issue than slugging from walk to trot!) it was lovely.

We're working on half-halts with the bitless bridle. It's a little harder because with the bit all I have to do is tighten my outside fingers, but that subtle an aid doesn't seem to translate without the bit. Once Keil gets more tuned in to the seat aid for that I think we'll be good.

The big thing that we did today was some very nice solid working trot. Not a lot yet but he offered it and I took it. He has a "power mode" that kicks in when he's ridden well and warmed up well, and I have learned that it's not really something you can (or should, imo) try to demand from him. If you put in the warm-up and focus on riding well, he shifts into this gear himself.

He has a lovely light trot that he offers too, but this trot is seriously big and you can feel the power underneath. I was really happy to feel it when we moved into the final bit of the ride - it's sort of like cruise control and truly fun to ride (wasn't fun when I first got Keil because it felt so powerful it was a bit scary).

It occurred to me today as we powered around the arena and he started getting very big and bold - I no longer get nervous and try to slow him down. I circle, or incorporate a pattern that helps me feel secure, but I am fine with the power mode. It has taken awhile for this to be true - there was a period of time when I was okay riding the power mode, but I often stopped it as a way of managing it - now we could go all day long (well, psychologically I could - my legs are still not strong enough after the summer off to actually go all day!)

So... first day of autumn and the Big Bay takes us into high gear. Happy equinox a day early! I hope everyone has forward motion and blue skies.

another good ride and a thank you to PETA

Everyone on November Hill is still feeling pretty spunky. The pony almost always feels spunky and is always up for anything anyone might have to share when it comes to food. Note his lip reaching, neck reaching, ears forward... he knows how to cozy up to the Big Bay. The next frame would be him taking that dangling bit of grass.

And Keil Bay would let him because Keil Bay is a benevolent king. 

Yesterday I had another good ride. We started off very 'up' - walked off from the mounting barrel in what I call "big walk" and did a nice spook in place at the red lawn mower monster that was parked in our back field. The monster is of course not at all scary when it's sitting in the paddock or the barnyard, as you can see by the seat, which has equine teeth marks all over it!

But we have to keep in practice and we have to have something fun to funnel all this autumn energy into, so we did one nice spook and then proceeded on our way. A little while later a small herd of deer trotted by the arena, and this elicited a very big look, the idea of a spook (or possibly joining the herd of deer into the forest) but I decided to ask that we simply carry on, and Keil listened.

Otherwise, we had some very nice shoulder-in, some nice trotting, and a couple of strides of spontaneous passage, which for whatever reason Keil loves to do going right as we pass C and get to M. Sometimes I say no and other times I let him go for it.

We hit the place where I asked for leg yield and got trot - Keil's way of avoiding what he doesn't want to do, and isn't he brilliant to offer the thing he knows I love most - his big trot?  His going forward instead of sideways gives us a chance to work on half halts and I realized that one hip felt slightly higher than the other as we transitioned down from trot - I'm betting the pelvis joint is rotated which means Keil needs chiro, but he isn't doing the other signals he usually gives so it's probably fairly mild. I'm feeling good about being able to feel these things from the saddle now.

We ended the ride with a small battle with a dive-bombing horsefly, who met an untimely death upon landing on Keil's mane. Keil stopped, I smacked, the fly fell, and we decided that was as good a time as any to call it a day.

After the ride I had a small cup of alfalfa pellets waiting on the picnic table so I could treat Keil while I untacked and sponged him down. Keil Bay loves being in the barnyard, so I let him stay while I got ready for a client session.

I spent the rest of the evening (this was an evening ride, today) in the barnyard, watching the moon rise while other magical things happened. Life is good. Life with horses is spectacular!

A note of thanks to PETA:

I know there is a fair amount of joking and no small amount of derision floating about that is directed at PETA. I was a member of the organization many years ago but lately don't always agree with their stance on everything, or their methods. However, this recent news story compels me to say thank you to them. A research laboratory in NC was closed down due to PETA's video-recording employees abusing animals. Because of PETA's work, over 200 animals have now been rescued and are in the process of being cared for, assessed, and released for adoption to loving homes.

I'm not a fan of using animals in research. Much of the testing done is ridiculous. Why does anyone need to know if something like laundry detergent damages a rabbit's eyes? When it comes to using animals for medical research, I consider it an ethical issue. If it's unethical to test using humans, why would we do it to animals, whose entire lives are then lived in cages and whose experience of the world is one of at least some amount of pain and suffering?

To use animals in research, where they are already giving up healthy normal lives, and then allow them to be abused by the staff is simply hideous. Anyone captured on the video abusing an animal should not only be fired but prosecuted.  Thanks to PETA this particular lab is no longer in business. And these animals can experience a different kind of life.

Thank you, to the people who did the videotaping. Keep up the good and important work.

I'm counting today as my first day of autumn...

For the past two days I've tried to get out to the barn early so I could ride in the cooler morning air, feed, get chores done, and get back in by mid-day. It took two days of revving my engine before I actually managed to shift my gears into this new routine, but it was SO worth it.

We're all waking up this week. The long hot summer is moving on, and everyone at November Hill is feeling the effects of that.

Keil Bay is a "morning person." He likes to do his work in the a.m. so the rest of his day is free and clear. He's always preferred that, but depending on schedules and the weather I've not always been able to accommodate his preference.

We've had a slow summer riding-wise. The rides I did were mostly bareback and not very much work for either of us. Two days ago I hauled my saddle from bedroom to barn, got things organized in the tack room, and finally, today, we got back in the groove.

Keil loves to be groomed in his stall where he can look out the window while I'm brushing. Today I wanted our return to work to be extremely pleasant, so I took the brushes in, along with a small handful of alfalfa pellets. I've been grooming daily again, and doing some ground and in-hand work, for about two weeks, and with the heat in decline and no need for hosing, added to us having no rain, getting him clean is a snap.

I put his Thinline sheepskin pad on, then saddled him up. I like to do the girth a notch at a time, so I got it just snug enough to stay put if he turned around in the stall, and then got more pellets and the stirrups. Girth up a notch on each side. More pellets and my helmet and whip. Girth up a notch. More pellets and bridle. And we were ready to go.

I decided today that instead of trying to force my leg higher than it wants to go (and given the fact that my left pelvis has been rotating out again) I would put the mounting block by the barrel in the arena, use the block to get on the barrel, and then simply lift my leg over Keil's back and sit straight down. Keil never had issues with mounting until I forgot to tighten the girth one ride about a year ago and the saddle slipped completely underneath him when I went to get on. Needless to say, I got even more finicky about mounting after that happened, and I have made him finicky as well. If I go ahead and mount without fretting, he's fine. But the moment I hesitate he steps away. So today daughter rewarded him with (yes, more!) alfalfa pellets as I stepped up onto the barrel and got on. Hopefully we can turn this into our regular routine and as he realizes I'm no longer hesitating, he can stand quietly the way he always has.

I had decided we were going to do lots of walking today, watching for trouble spots and fixing those quietly. Immediately it felt like there were steering issues. I had the bitless on him and probably didn't have it snug enough, but that didn't really seem "it." I felt like I was using too much leg, too frequently, and then realized that every time I used a leg aid I was taking the weight out of the stirrup, so that the other leg was by default being weighted - and that this was throwing everything out of whack.

Sometimes the solution is so simple we almost don't find it. Today I was thankfully aware of the domino effect I was creating and stopped it by focusing on just one thing - keeping my weight even in the stirrups. Suddenly everything got much sharper. And as we got more in sync and I was quieter in the saddle, Keil clearly wanted to trot. So we trotted on. He immediately went into his big, swinging trot that is so smooth it makes absolutely no sense to post - I just kept focusing on keeping my feet evenly weighted and keeping my hands soft and still. And he woke up - all the way. By taking care of my issues, I took the brakes off him.

Keil Bay is big and powerful and when he wakes up all the way it's both exhilarating and a bit intimidating to me if I've not been riding regularly. But after last week's big buck, the groaning sound he was making as he turned to the left, my heel pain, and the feeling that both of us were suddenly seeming as old as our combined ages, I was so happy today to feel his energy, and mine, that I let go of the idea that I might not be ready for it.

We did more trotting, and some pas de deux with daughter and pony. Keil was so in front of my leg that even the thought of asking for trot was enough. He was big and bold and very interested in forward motion.

Cody had already been ridden but he was so intrigued with the energy in the arena he opened the gate and came in - he couldn't quite figure out how to join the pas de deux so he stood at X and watched as we continued.

I was happy to have Cody visiting, but hoping things didn't get out of hand. A few days ago daughter captured these photos of the pony during one particularly intense "play" session:

To wind things down, we went for a turn through the back field - and Keil Bay was so up and ready to go he did a little jig and tossed his head in the bridle! He would have loved a long hack through the woods, and if we had such a trail available to us, I'd have taken him there and tried my best to keep up with him!

He was looking a bit like this:

Instead, we headed back through the paddock to the arena and finished the ride. Keil knew breakfast was coming, so life was good anyway, even without a hack!

My favorite photo from the play session though, I've saved for last. Apache Moon loves this movement and would probably be incredibly easy to teach if we wanted him to do it on command:

Leaping forward to fall!!

mountains, horses, Proust

On Friday my writing group partner came by and we headed west to the mountains for the weekend. It's been a couple of years since I've been, so I was completely thrilled with the opportunity to visit a new little mountain town. We took the parkway for a good portion of the drive and as usual, the winding road, the sound of rushing water, and the exposed rock faces immediately put me into a creative space. (I once wrote an entire section of novel while driving in the mountains with all the windows down, pulling over at every turn-around to write in longhand in my notebook, fast, as I tried to keep up with the story that came pouring out)

We stayed in a nice lodge/inn:

and while D. went to her book festival I was able to edit and read and listen to the rain on Saturday while alternating between room and porch. It was truly lovely to have that uninterrupted span of time. Sunday we took a longer but much more scenic route home and saw several beautiful waterfalls:

It was wonderful having a break and wonderful to come back home to horses and the entire family. And now that I've got a handle on this heel pain, and temps are generally good in the mornings (we're still getting into the 90s some days) I think it's time to step back into the stirrups and enjoy some forward motion on the Big Bay.

The horses are all waking up after the summer heat. And I haven't forgotten the promised photos, but since I wasn't the one who took them, I have to wait patiently until they get sent to me! They are worth it, I think!

Last night I went to the first meeting of my Proust group. I read Proust in my mid-twenties, by myself, and when I learned that one of my favorite local writer/editors was putting together a group to read the entire work of Proust over the course of a year, I couldn't wait to sign up. We have 8 members, will meet weekly to talk about the pages we've read, and are encouraged to turn in our own work for feedback (a real treat, since Judy is a gifted editor). One member is reading Proust in French (!) and the rest of us are reading the new Lydia Davis translation, which I'm loving already.

From this week's reading:

A sleeping man holds in a circle around him the sequence of the hours, the order of the years and worlds.

Reading Proust is like watching our butterfly bush this time of year. There are so many flowers, pockets of sunshine and shadow, and butterfly wings moving all over the bush, coming, going, lighting, as though the bush itself is blooming with life, and one thing leads you to another thing, and before long you've been pulled into a sort of enchantment that takes you outside time.

The world expands from the moment into every direction and back again.

When I first read Proust my life was very different than it is now, and I'm eager to experience reading him at 50, from the perspective of being a mother to teens and living in the company of all these incredible animals.