horse forums, commitments to our horses, and taking JOY

There's a discussion in process on a horse forum I read having to do with the issue of making a lifetime commitment to the horses we own/ride. The original poster asked for thoughts on this, with her own perspective being that we owe it to our animals to provide that level of commitment. The question wasn't posed in a judgmental way. It was simply asking for discussion on the issue.

I'm sure you can guess where the discussion is going.

A number of folks feel that yes, making a lifetime commitment is a value they hold true. A few more agree, but make the concession that sometimes things happen and we can't live up to our commitments, so we do the best we can finding new, good homes for our horses.

There are a few who point out that horses need jobs and thus need to be sold/traded/given away in order to keep them "happy."

And a few others who feel the rider needs the freedom to own new horses more suited to the rider's increasing skill level and thus can't be expected to "collect" and pay for all the horses ridden and owned at the lower levels.

The most interesting part of the discussion to me (from a psychological point of view, mostly) is that the people responding most vehemently are those who have sold/given away/rehomed horses and feel they are being judged for that.

By my reading of the various comments, no one has judged them. I actually went so far in my own response to state that everyone has different values and perspectives and while I don't agree with the practice of trading horses regularly, I can't project my values onto everyone else.

Several people commented they would keep horses if they owned their own property. Since they don't, they can't. And I made the point that we BOUGHT our property BECAUSE of our feelings about the horses who share our lives. We could never afford to board them for the rest of their lives, so we chose to give up things like family vacations, new furniture, and expensive clothing and cars in order to create a situation that fits our values.

It's fascinating to me that when people are not secure in their own behaviors, and someone else discusses, in a neutral non-judgmental way, their differing practices, the insecure folks turn it into judgment.

Being a psychotherapist, I can't help but think: hey, wait a minute! You're the one judging your very own self! If you feel judged, maybe it's because your actions don't match up with your inner feelings.

Own that and move on.

It's difficult for me to read all the advertisements for "free to a good home" horses. If someone has fallen on hard times and are doing the best they can to relocate their horses, I feel badly for them. On the other hand, if someone has ridden a horse into the ground showing and competing and now the senior horse needs medication, special care, and they want someone else to do that for them, I get angry.

But I come from a viewpoint of seeing the horse as a partner, a family member, and a sentient being who deserves my lifetime commitment.

It's completely alien to me to view a horse as a vehicle for sport or even pleasure, but certainly if used to that end, I'd feel I owed them a loving retirement home, with me. If the horse was such a wonderful partner, how could I part with him?

My husband tells me I should just stay off the forums.

I get some good information on various forums. I also get reminded of how complex and sometimes downright irrational we humans can be.


*******


And then, I get a comment from Sheaffer on my "june" post, that prompts me to go back through my own archives for a quote:


Just for fun, my family invented a religion like the Shakers we called Stillwater. I'm eldress, and we have a big celebration on Midsummer's Eve. It's really a state of mind. Stillwater connotes something very peaceful, you see, life without stress. Nowadays, people are so jeezled up. If they took some chamomile tea and spent more time rocking on the porch in the evening listening to the song of the hermit thrush, they might enjoy life more.

Stillwater believers are very hedonistic. Life is to be enjoyed, not saddled with. Do you know that lovely quotation from Fra Giovanni? He was an old monk from away back who wrote to his patron, 'The gloom of the world is but a shadow; behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. Take joy.' That's the first commandment of the Stillwater religion. Joy is there for the taking.

-Tasha Tudor, from The Private World of Tasha Tudor


I think that's my solution to reading the forums. :)

Take Joy!

more on our resident black snake

I was checking water troughs this morning and noticed something long and black lying by a tree root in the sun. It was the black snake! As soon as I walked over, it crawled to the nearest tree, slithered up the trunk and in through the wire mesh we have wrapped, and sequestered itself in the "nest" formed by the three tree trunks!

Where is Dickens when you need him? He was nowhere to be found, but my daughter ran inside to get my camera so we could take some photos and identify the snake.



At first I thought it was a black racer - but I think it's a black rat snake due to the keeled scales. It was very alert to me and where I was, but what a smart place to settle in, safe from cats and donkey hooves. I think it has been injured slightly just by its left eye, probably the mark of a certain cat who thinks he's a mongoose.



The black rat snake eats rodents, frogs, lizards, and other snakes, so he is welcome to stay and help maintain balance in our little ecosystem.

june

It feels like June has snuck up and tapped me on the shoulder, out of the blue. Whenever I step outside, the sound of insects, the vivid green against bright blue sky, and the heat of the season all seem omnipresent. I'm not sure if that's part of why I have been feeling overwhelmed this week, as though I've been weighted down with things to do while at the same time shifted into slow motion.

Yesterday I opened the back door and the red tails were having a fit over something. My daughter came in later with a lovely photograph that made me realize yet again how far we are into this season.

Today I was on the front porch, looking at the garden beds, noting that the muscadine grape vines I cut so severely back only a month ago have come back with ferocity and are taking over again. The trumpet vine is doing the same thing. I have visions of a grape arbor on the side of my porch, and a bed that is, while somewhat wild, a bit more ordered. What I have is pure chaos out there. Lovely, but out of control.

Like me and my eroding schedule. I've got to get the routine shifted before it gets any hotter, or just give up on riding until fall arrives.

The summer solstice hasn't even rolled around yet and already I'm longing for autumn!

Sometimes the seasons are sweetest when they're just around the bend from where we are. But when I slow down in the morning and do things with a quieter tempo, I make the most of the rhythms that sing this time of year.

off to see the wizard

When we got home after a long afternoon at the horse show, I checked email and found that my OED word of the day was spooky:


Of, pertaining to, or characteristic of spirits or the supernatural; frightening, eerie.

Surfing. Of a wave: dangerous or frightening.

Of a person (or animal): nervous; easily frightened; superstitious.

Of or pertaining to spies or espionage.


We didn't hold a seance with the pony, nor did we attempt to surf with him. He's a bit boldly colored to be a spy.

But his first ride in the lakeside dressage arena did bring out a bit of anxiety, some fear, and all the relaxation and rhythm, the base of the training scale in dressage, went right out the window!

Combine that with a very tough judge and you get low scores and lots of "glass half empty" comments. The scores and comments were so low and negative that competitors were openly remarking on them at the ribbon table and the scoreboard.

In spite of this, though, we had a good day that I consider quite successful. The pony loaded perfectly onto the trailer, and unloaded just as well. He was well behaved and easy to handle. We parked beside a trailer full of ponies, one even smaller than he is, and that was a first. The little pony nickers were cute, and they all kept checking each other out. Interestingly, the ponies were being ridden by a local trainer (a tiny woman) and it was really fun to see. She was very enthusiastic about ponies in general, and we kept tabs on how the rides were going throughout the afternoon. She told me we should plan to all show up and overwhelm the judges with ponies throughout the season! I love that idea.

We tacked the Little Man up and took him to see the lakeside arena, then went to warm-up. He was quite alert, looking and checking things out, and there were a few upset horses in warm-up, kicking out, rearing, and generally not happy. In hindsight, we should have persisted with a longer warm-up, but at the time, it just wasn't much fun being in that melee.

The lakeside arena had been reduced for the day to a 20m x 40m size, and the extra 20m was being used for the warm-up box. There was another box outside of that so you could warm up while waiting. The pony wasn't thrilled. The lakeside arena is actually quite beautiful. It sits just down a short but steep hill from the big covered arena, and then there's another hill on the outside that drops down to a small lake.

There are geese and assorted other birds, lots of insect noise, especially as the day passed, and a fair amount of distraction on all sides. Upper level rides were going on in the covered arena, with readers calling out upper level tests on a mike. (hearing that while trying to ride my own test would have completely done me in)

I've heard from many riders over the past two years that many folks don't like riding in the lakeside, because it has so much potential for spooking. Most of the time they use it for the very upper level tests.

When my daughter rode the pony into the first warm-up box, he managed himself okay. He wasn't thrilled but he didn't balk. When it was her turn to ride into the next box, he did balk a little, and he really didn't like the A marker that was sitting there. He spooked at it, then she rode up to and had him sniff it, then he tried to knock it down with his hoof. Ahem!

And then the little bell rang and it was time for him to start his test - the most difficult one she'd signed up to ride. We'd already talked about not worrying about score, but using the test to break him in to the new environment.

The first difficulty was the judge's stand itself. Riding down center line he looked like Dorothy and her friends approaching the Great Oz himself. The pony did okay to X, but after the halt and salute he was very nervous about going to C. The judge's stand is a covered gazebo, with latticed wood around the bottom so that it looks like a checkerboard pattern with the white and the shadow. There's a mimosa tree behind it, which was dripping gorgeous feathery blooms down around the little structure, but the woman in the hat who stood up inside this monstrosity was just too much. He veered to the left, he veered to the right, while my daughter sat calm and deep and just kept working him through this. However, it was clearly going to take some time, so the judge called out that she could proceed toward B and continue from there.

B is the mid-point marker on the long side and in this arena was the side nearest the lake. The B marker also had a lovely mimosa planted behind it, and it proved to be a sticky point for many horses throughout the day. The pony was very happy to be heading away from the All Powerful Oz judge, but when he saw B looming ahead, it may as well have been the Wicked Witch herself behind it. He spooked again.

I have to say, my daughter kept her cool. In the face of that much chaos, I would have forgotten the test completely. But she kept her head, kept her deep seat, and continued riding. They had some good moments, particularly the free walk, which she smartly used to relax him and proceed with a bit more relaxation into the second half of the test. Still, it was a tough ride and she knew the score would be low.

We had just enough time to untack and offer hay and water, sponge him off, and breathe, before it was time to go back to warm-up and get ready for the next test.

Second test was the second most complex of the day, but we talked about improving on the first ride and again, not worrying about overall performance.

They did much better. He got over the fear of the judge's stand and redirected his anxiety to the markers, mostly the B. Near the end of the test he knocked over a rail near A. But he was more relaxed overall and they raised their total score by a few points.

We had a longer break before the last test, so we untacked, sponged, and tied him to the trailer so he could eat and drink and relax while we had lunch in the little bit of shade our trailer cast.

We reviewed the score sheets and comments and relaxed.

Then we got ready for the last warm-up and ride of the day. By this time the pony was fairly ready for the routine. He had a couple of rough spots but managed to get a fifth place and again raised the total score. My daughter decided she wanted to spend a little time riding him before we left, in order to continue to build on his improved demeanor and comfort level.

The rings were all clearing out, and she took him back to warm-up to do some big trotting and cantering, and then hacked around the grounds a bit, by the portable john, over to the jump ring, and past the award stand. We asked if we could go back down to lakeside and ride a few tests on our own, since the rides down there were all done. They said we were welcome to, and off we went. Daughter rode him down and I marched in on foot, and headed directly to B. He touched the top of the marker with his nose, I shook the mimosa branch and let him smell a mimosa bloom. I walked up to the judge's stand and then stood there, trying to be menacing as daughter rode him back through the first test of the day. He of course did much much better, and they had a full ride with no spooking.

She trotted by B in both directions a number of times, circling to make sure he was comfortable with it. It was nice to end on a fun note in that scary place. Much like coming back to Oz with the witch's broom and realizing - there is no Great and Powerful Oz. Just an empty judge's stand and a sand arena, with a few not so scary geese and some mimosas swaying in the breeze.

But we didn't stop there. My daughter rode him out of the arena and onto the grass around the arena, behind B and the mimosa, right by the lake, and right by the judge's stand. He was fine. We were then able to head back to the trailer feeling like we had truly accomplished something, and very proud of a little painted pony who faced down his fears and conquered them so nicely.

The next show in the series is in August, so we're looking forward to another day with some challenges and opportunities to improve.

Today we woke up to fog and clouds. A nice respite from yesterday's sun, and a quiet day on November Hill.

dreary day, brilliant daughter, happy horse, busy weekend

It was rainy and cool here today, and I'd been waiting for just this sort of break in the temps to do our last equine deworming until September.

Redford led the herd in getting his portion. He saw the tube of ivermectin and marched up, eager to take it. Rafer Johnson spied the action and was soon lined up for his. The pony finished off the tube (it works out perfectly for the pony and donkeys to share one) without a blink and on I went.

Salina is back in heat again, and had already been squealing this a.m. I had fussed at her for flinging her head up wildly in response to Keil Bay committing the gross offense of sticking his head over his own stall door. So I wasn't sure how the deworming would go with her in that kind of mood. She had a mouthful of hay, so I rubbed some circles on her temple while she finished chewing. She turned her head away when she saw the tube, but I went slowly, and when I reached to bring her head back to me, she was quite willing.

Keil Bay was his usual one-handed operation.

Cody has been difficult in the past, but the last few times he's been really easy to dose. Today, though, he saw the tube and when I allowed him to sniff it he walked away. My daughter came out with halter and lead rope and waited with him in the back field while I came out. He was fussing and then he pulled back pretty hard. We stopped and just stood with him, allowing him to smell the tube but not trying to put it in his mouth.

He was quite calm until I positioned the tube again - then he tensed up. Daughter said "why don't we try the tapping?"

Duh! I had completely forgotten about that. She tapped his star and I tapped his cheek, and the dewormer tube slid right into his mouth and it was all done in about 3 seconds. No fuss, no muss.

I'm incredibly fortunate to have such a brilliant young horsewoman keeping me on the right path!

The rest of the day has been very lazy. Daughter and pony are riding 3 dressage tests in a local show on Sunday, so she called the tests out to make sure she has them all straight. The pony is slick and shiny as a seal and assuming we can get that tangerine dream color out of his tail he will look gorgeous.

Tomorrow my husband and I are celebrating our anniversary with dinner and a movie in my favorite little horsey town. The theater is an old artsy place that still has the original seating. They sell refreshments but the soft drinks are poured by hand and the wine is uncorked while you stand there. There's a big bin full of seat cushions in assorted sizes, colors, and shapes that you can pick up on the way in. I love the movies they choose to screen, and that the theater has the old-fashioned amazing acoustics that make it a fabulous venue for live music. George Winston played there a few years back and I still regret missing the performance.

Lazy Friday, full weekend, and the Mystical-Kit had the best idea of all - big fat book and a bed!