I now have about one-half of my ergonomic set-up in place. My laptop is on the bigger desk in the living room, with a new chair that adjusts every which way you can imagine. I have the sapphire blue wrist rests. I've picked out the new keyboard and once that's plugged in I will raise the monitor and get a foot rest.
I can feel the difference with each change, which is a good thing. Maybe I can finally get back to the books!
In the midst of this ergonomic upgrade, my laptop has been acting up (it's old, and has been great, but I think it's on its last legs). I'm replacing it with a desktop, as the portability issue is much less now that it has been in the past.
I'm looking forward to the big screen and the ease of typing.
All that said, not writing for these past few weeks is turning me into the Grinch. I've said before that when I don't write, I start to feel like the top of my head is going to blow off, much like a volcano erupting.
I've been feeling that way lately. The horses keep me from getting to the far edge of blowing, but it's like having my energy at low boil. I'm ready to move on and get back to the page.
Last night I dreamed I was going into a department store. I was shopping for exercise equipment, shoes, and clothing. The exercise stuff, you might guess, represents the need to write. Between the ergonomic stuff and the not writing my body is feeling all out of whack. So in my dream world I was heading out to fix it.
I was very excited. Hopeful. I stepped into the elevator and while trying to figure out which button to push - floor 2 or 3? - women kept getting on the elevator. It ended up being packed. And when we pushed the button, finally, the elevator didn't move. There were windows, and we could see we weren't moving. Stuck!
But then something happened and the elevator began to lift. There was a moment's relief and then we all realized something was wrong. The elevator was buckling. That word - buckling - was the word used in the dream, and we all kept shrieking it. "It's buckling!"
I'm not quite sure what that means yet, but I'm sure it carries its own message. (I just read that in engineering, buckling is a "failure mode." Exactly how I've been feeling with regards to writing!)
So the elevator was buckling and then the bottom dropped out. Another moment of panic. Then I realized as long as I kept my arms and feet in the right place, (aha! hands and feet!) I wouldn't fall out. I was safe.
Someone managed to call for help on the phone, and they said "is the elevator buckling?" Duh - but they also said they were on the way.
By this time the elevator had left the building and was twisting and turning out over the parking lot. We could see all the workmen and machinery gathering to help us. They managed to get the elevator to go back into its "tunnel" and we were able to step out into the second floor.
Right where we had been heading all along.
However, I realized it was the wrong floor. I had misremembered where the exercise stuff was, so I needed to go up to the third.
Obviously I took the stairs! But this too had its own danger. Every stair step was piled with big bags of food, spilling out. Beans and cookies and flour - all the ingredients anyone would ever need to create pretty much anything. It was all out of place, too much, unusable in the way it was being stored. I stepped around it and made my way up to the third floor.
Which was flooding!
There were pools of water everywhere and a clear, perfect stream of water was spilling in from a high-up window, like a fountain. The sales clerks were walking in circles, trying to figure out what to do.
I decided to head back down to the first floor.
I navigated the stairs full of ingredients. I got caught up in a crowd of women trying to get to the first floor and realized in the crowd, with all the junk on the stairs, I had lost my shoes.
There was no way I was going back to find them. I felt sad for a moment - I liked those shoes - but then decided I would buy new ones, better ones, and it would all be fine.
Then, as I walked toward the first floor, down a long passageway, I realized my shoes had miraculously found their way back onto my feet.
Back in my own footprints - this is one of my images of being centered. I use it for myself and with clients. Get in your footprints. Get centered.
And then I woke up.
billie hinton’s camera-obscura:
life and lessons on November Hill Farm
My goodness, that is a very vivid dream, I don't know how you remember it all. I hope you get your computer set up soon and can start writing again. Maybe it will let you have calmer dreams.
ReplyDeleteI just started working on my book after a long absence from writing. I had been hating what I had written, but after a couple of months, when I re-read the dreaded chapters, I wondered why I thought they were a problem. What brought me back to the writing was that I didn't want to have any regrets about not finishing the book. It's good that you remembered so much of your dream - your inner voice was speaking to you loud and clear.
ReplyDeleteI have always had a huge number of dreams, most of which are very vivid and long, and because of the way my sleep cycle operates, I wake up after each dream and thus tend to remember all of them.
ReplyDeleteThis morning I woke up with at least 6 dreams in my head.
This is why I have never truly followed through with writing all my dreams down every single morning - it would take a long time!
Wow! Such a vivid and detailed dream, Billie.
ReplyDeleteThis just reminded me that I've not had any dreams (or can remember them for a very long time. Maybe even a year now. gah!
I can't remember. How does one have dreams? I sleep very heavy. When my head hits the pillow, I'm out, and don't wake up until morning. I wonder if that is why?
First thing when you mentioned 'Buckling" I thought of Rafer bucking and being excited. Maybe that's where the word came from?
I hope you can find the time and interest to get back to writing before the volcano blows.
It's gonna get messy over at your place, what with Rafer the Category 5 and Billie the Mega Volcano! hehe
~Lisa
Lisa, I remember from studying brain activity and dreaming (a long time ago) that most people dream an average of 7 or so dreams per night but don't remember them.
ReplyDeleteI have much less dream recall if I go to bed very physically tired and sleep especially heavily.
It has something to do with the REM sleep cycle - I wake up every time I have one, not wide awake, but enough that the dream I just had circles through my thoughts once and thus when I wake up in the morning I have recall of many dreams - usually at least 5.
I've had success with clients who wanted to do dream work reminding themselves before bed that they want to remember their dreams, and keeping a dream journal immediately upon waking, where they record any snippets they might remember. Usually this gets people remembering dreams much more vividly.
I've more often had the issue that I wake up with dream recall so vivid I feel like I'm still in the dream.
LOL - Mega Volcano! I broke down and took my annual remedy yesterday and immediately felt better, so some of this volcanic activity might be hormonally based. :)
Keyboard is on the way, though!
Oh my, Billie!
ReplyDeleteLast night I had the first two dreams I've remembered upong waking, in a long long time!
I wonder if it's because I was thinking about dreaming before I went to sleep and unconsciously remembered that I wanted to recall my dreams?
Wow!
The first dream I recalled was related to a blog post on Galloping Grace Youth Ranch. In the dream my 5 yr old daughter and I met them to help buck pumpkins for their pumpkin stand.
Then they all left me when I was helping to clean up and put away chairs....even took my daughter (who has mild Aspergers and OCD). I was panicked! And then the owner of the pumpkin farm woulnd't let me leave until I paid for all of GGYR's pumpkins they had loaded up on to several trailers.
What a mess! haha
And then I had another dream which entailed 'the end of the earth' scenario. A huge sphere was in the atmosphere exploding nuclear bombs over the earth.
Thousands of war planes were in the sky and soldiers and tanks were everywhere.
I was trying to find a cave to hide in, and remember even digging into the ground trying to create a bunker with my own hands. My hands were bleeding. It was very scary.
I knew we had to leave, but I didn't want to leave my horse and other animals. I knew it was a certain death. Whatever that silver sphere was way up in the sky, it wanted to annihilate the entire earth.
We traveled to several different caves, but they were already packed with terrified people.
I woke up and just lay there pondering the meaning of my dream.
It was such a vivid dream, Billie!
Why didn't I have a pleasant happy dream. Why such stressful drama?
I'm not sure whether to thank you, or not! haha
~Lisa
That's great that you suddenly remembered two very vivid dreams already.
ReplyDeleteI always suggest looking at dreams as if each character is a part of YOU. It often opens things up if you're interested in interpreting.
Some dreams are simply our unconscious discharging anxiety. I had one the other night that I had only a few college courses left to get my degree, and had signed up for those courses. But the registration screwed up and while I was registered, there was no way to find out what time the classes met or who was teaching them, or where.
So basically I was signed up for courses I couldn't attend, would get No Credits for all of them, and thus not graduate.
LOL - this was one of those dreams that was so clearly about loss of control and anxiety that I almost knew that inside the dream itself.
I think your second dream has a lot of potential for pondering - I'm intrigued with that silver sphere and also with your tenacity in seeking safe shelter.