(For Keil Bay, 1989-2023)
Horses Are Light And Air And Wind And Sky
Are guardians who gallop alongside cars, always with you, always there. They are winged creatures, though their wings are invisible, carrying you away from things and also toward things.
Horses hold space and energy, read minds, siphon insights that may otherwise be elusive. They move in rhythms that match pulses, heartbeats, breath, the alternating skip you do as a child, the way your brain processes neural impulses.
A horse comes to you when you need him, carries you past a mirror which reflects your best self, lays his muzzle on your shoulder, lifts a 70-pound bale of hay in your path in his teeth and tosses it aside. A horse comes to you from dream time, from child time, from the time before you knew what time even was.
Horses sing and scream and snort, gaze without blinking into the deepest part of your eye, smell, and sometimes lick, your hands. A horse listens when you whisper, better than a therapist at detecting the things you do not say.
Horses find the girls who need them. Horses tell the truth and keep their promises. Horses surround you and lift you off the ground to keep you with them. Herd mind. Herd hooves drum-beating time.
Sometimes when you stand beside a horse’s shoulder, hand on wither, hand on barrel, he turns and curls you into the space between his head and heart, a small circle of protection, impenetrable circle of safety.
When you dream about a horse you’re not dreaming, you are galloping through another galaxy, exploring deep space, tracing neural networks, resetting your vagus nerve.
When a horse leaves, you send a piece of you with her, and she leaves a piece of her with you. The conversation you started never stops. The partnership you forged never flags. Sometimes you see her galloping the perimeter of the farm, keeping time intact, opening windows into other places, other ways of being, places not yet named.
When you ride a horse you carry that forever in the skin of your calves, feet hanging weightless, a lifted back bearing you across boundaries of time and space, faster than you think you can go, to a place you came from but don’t remember until he takes you there again.
-Billie Hinton
6 comments:
Lovely thoughts. Beautiful picture.
Thanks, A!
Magical writing. Magical horses, all of them. But some, a bit more than others, right? At least to us who have love them.
p.s. I do believe I owe you an email. (Is it years now? Is that possible?)
Keil is up there with Sabina, Poes, Duke and Obi.....and so many more.
Thanks so much, Donna. I do not think it’s been years! Maybe one… ? Tonight when I went to feed it was dead silent. The herd was in the arena but Keil Bay always led the way in to the barn, and he wasn’t there to do it, so they just stayed where they were. Finally, Cody stepped up and came to Keil’s stall door window, peeked in like “is this okay?” It was both sweet and heartbreaking. Redford donkey is upset, not consolable right now. He’s literally staying with the towel that was under Keil’s cheek/eye when he was down and smelling it constantly as a comfort but trying to push through stall doors each time I open one so he can go find Keil.
This is beautiful.
You are an extraordinary writer.
Oh, thank you, Matthew. This is such a heartfelt piece.
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